


Klutz (Or: Accidentally Mike)

by Attorney C (arh581958)



Category: Suits (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Domestic, Comedy, Crack, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Funny, Humour, M/M, Protective!Harvey, Romance, Slash, Smut, Sweet, clumsy!Mike, prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-11
Updated: 2016-01-11
Packaged: 2018-05-13 05:30:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5696791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arh581958/pseuds/Attorney%20C
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mike being a little bit clumsy wasn't always such a big problem. It wasn't until a new client comes in, convinced that all those bruises weren't really accidents and plots to get to the bottom of things. Yikes!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Klutz (Or: Accidentally Mike)

**Author's Note:**

> **Short story time!** I've been working on  Roses and Value at Risk for two days straight when BOOM(!) my laptop alerts me that my hard disk is failing (failing, guys!). Can you believe that? I had to send my PC to the shop for some maintenance work. **_PRAY FOR MY FILES!!!_** So, in my depression because I might *sniffs* never see my babies again, I wrote this to cheer myself up. It's been four days. FOUR DAYS. 
> 
> In other news, I tried to be different and funny in this one. I hope I succeeded. This is also unbeta-ed. I haven't had a chance to send it yet. Sorry, ILY.

Seeing Mike with some type of bandage or binding or bruise was not an uncommon sight in the Pearson-Hardman offices. It only became a problem when an overprotective Harvey became so wound up over  Mike little _accidents_ that he demanded to know ‘who the fucking bastard who did it’ was. It, of course, led to a screaming battle between the pair inside the latter’s office. Donna had been forced to turn-off the intercom for the exchange.

Harvey didn’t believe that any of Mike’s _accidents_ were accidental, at all.

Long story short, overprotective Harvey the boss ended up confessing his feelings for the blond. Mike had explained, several times over, his confessed clumsiness which caused his accidents. Harvey had laughed kissed his forehead and asked if he could be overprotective Harvey the boyfriend, sans ‘overprotective’.

Mike agreed.

Needless to say, Mike’s little accidents became less frequent with his overprotective boyfriend-turned-knight-in-shining-armor.

***

Well, until the inevitable happened

***

For disaster-prone Mike, any place is a battlefield, even if it was his own home base. So, a new place, the new apartment he rented with Harvey for example, is a hazardous place, despite the fact that he designed the layout himself.

THUD. A case folder falls to the ground.

“Oww, fuck!” Mike curses, bringing a hand up to his eye. He presses slightly on the top of his cheek and hisses again. “Fuck that hurts.”

“Black eyes generally do,” Harvey comments from behind him. “Come here, let me see.” he cajoles, pulling Mike’s hand away so he can properly see. He made a face at the blossoming black and blue patch of skin. “Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. It looks like someone socked you in the face.”

“Geez. Harvey,” Mike rolls his eyes and says, “You don’t say…”

Harvey barks out a laugh as he picks up the folder. When he stands, he leads Mike by the elbow into their kitchen, carefully side-stepping obstacles on their way. Mike lazily follows without further complaint, trusting Harvey to keep him safe.

“Sit,” Harvey orders, pointing to a stool. “No, wait,” He reconsiders at the last second and grabs a dining chair from the kitchen. “Sit here. I don’t want you falling off the bar stool _again_.”

Mike snorts. “Very funny, Harvey. Har. Har. Hillarious!” He mocks but sits down anyway. The chair skids a few inches back. He wants to punch the smug grin off Harvey’s face for calling it. The thought immediately melts when Harvey returns with medical bag, filled with ice, at hand.

“No peas this time?” he attempts a weak retort despite the butterflies fluttering in his stomach. It comes out as a broken whisper. It smells new and freshly opened. He takes a peak behind Harvey and sees the box on the countertop.

Harvey shakes his head and hands Mike the bag. “Nah,” he answers with a small grin, “I figured that this was more economical.”

“God save the peas!” Mike waves an invisible flag sarcastically. He stops when Harvey folds onto his knees. “Ha—Harvey?” he stutters, fully aware of his boyfriend’s handsome fucking face barely an inch away from his own.

“I always wondered why that big brain of yours has difficulty with something so mundane as spatial awareness.” Harvey teases lightly, making Mike blush. He lifts up a hand and gentle touches the side of Mike’s face, careful not to press against the swollen flesh. “It’s going to bruise.”

Mike laughs. “Sorry,” he mumbles.

“Idiot,” Harvey tells him, “You always make me so worried.”

“Kiss me better?” Mike offers instead.

To that, Harvey eagerly complies.

***

One thing leads to another, then bathroom, then the bedroom, then the sofa, then the entry way.

***

They arrive late for work.

“Harvey, get your ass into the conference room.” Jessica says in lieu of a greeting. She eyes him up and down with a self-righteous knowing look on her face. “You have a new client, pro bono. She’s been in the conference room since ten. Don’t make her wait any longer.”

“I’m a senior partner!” Harvey complains from his chair. It hasn’t even had a chance to warm yet. “Pawn it off to some associate or something.”

“One; I’m still the _managing_ partner, so you do as I say. Two; it was supposed to be Mike’s but he’s in no shape to meet a client. Did you see that black eye? Christ, Harvey,” she lets out a sigh, “I thought those days were behind us.”

“Yeah, about that…” Harvey rubs the back of his head, “He’s still not used to the new apartment.”

Jessica rolls her eyes. “I suggest you make _yourself_ useful and talk to the client.”

***

“Good morning, Jane.” Harvey greets with his million dollar smile in play, “I’m Harvey Specter. I’ve been assigned by the firm as your council. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” He extends a hand and waits for her to shake it. “Let’s have a seat. Would you like to tell me about the case in your own words?”

She tells him about the law suit against their organization by an estranged spouse of one of their clients. She’s careful not to divulge any of the names. As she recounts her tale, Mike absently walks into the room, looking f or Harvey.  

“Harvey, do you have a min---oh! Sorry!” Mike shuts up immediately when he sees that Harvey is not alone. “Oh, shoot. I’m sorry, Harvey. I should just.”

“Mike,” Harvey warns darkly. It causes Mike to stop his fidgeting entirely. He turns to Jane to apologize. “I’m sorry, Jane, this Is Mike Ross, one of our junior partners.” He turns to Mike, “Yes, Mike, you needed something?”

Jane quickly glances at the discoloring on Mike’s eye.

“I, uh, no,” Mike stammers, “I’ll just come by your office after this is over.” He slowly backs away to the door. “Sorry!” he squeaks one making his great escape and disappearing on a corner.

Harvey tries not to find it endearing and fails.

“So…” he says, turning back to his client. “Where were we?”

“Did you see his face?” Jane asks, completely jumping subject.

“Whose face?” Harvey wonders in confusion. He pays little attention to the fact that seeing a black-and-blue eye is uncommon to the general public. He’s seen Mike do far worse than an eye.

“The other lawyer’s eye! He had a black eye!” She pointed out, quite concerned. “It was the size of a baseball!”

“Oh, ehrm,” Harvey mutters sheepishly, waving it off, because there really isn’t a better way to say it. He goes for the simple answer and waves it off. “He hit his face against a door at home.”

She looks skeptical. “And you know this how?”

Harvey ducks his head, somewhat shy. They’ve never really gone out to a client before, but, oh well, there’s a first for everything. “I’m his partner,” he replies confidently, “I saw it happen. He had his nose buried in a case file and BAM, his face got acquainted with the door.”

Despite his best efforts to make light of the situation, Jane is unconvinced.

Harvey opens his palms in defeat. “It’s a shit excuse, I know. But I swear, that’s what really happened. I can call him here and you can ask him yourself, if you like.”

“No need,” Jane huffs, “It’s fine.”

***

Mike’s black eyes is gone within the week and the incident is forgotten.

***

“Oh! Oh! Oh! Harvey!” Mike moans as Harvey pounds him from behind, large heavy hands holding his hips, while he scrambles for purchase. He was bent, at the waist, over the back of the couch, ass in the air while his dick was trapped between his thighs.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” He flails as Harvey teased his prostate with every thrust. He grabs the back of Harvey’s thigh, lifting to his tippy-toes, to get better leverage. His lover thrusts again, deep, until the Mike is cradled in Harvey’s lap, and grinds his hips it a slow circle.

“Yesss,” Mike digs his fingers on Harvey’s naked ass, “Yess, just like that, baby, just like that.”

“I love it when you sex babble,” Harvey whispers, bending down and licking as far down Mike’s back as he can reach, “Come on, baby, talk. Let me hear you moan while I fuck you.”

“Fuck, Harvey, fuck,” Mike groans in reply.  “I’m leaking all over the back of our sofa! God, Harvey, so good~”

It’s like music to Harvey’s ears. He pumps into Mike, barely moving but deep, feeling Mike’s hole swallowing him up. His balls are hot against Mike’s ass-cheeks, tight with release.

“Just…” Mike pants, moving higher on his toes, “I need…” He falls face-first on the couch, bracing himself on his hands against the cushions. “Yes!” he practically wails in relief. “Right there!” he whimpers as the position gives Harvey leverage to hit him deeper, rubbing over his prostate perfectly.

“Mike,” Harvey grunts above him, “Be… careful…” he says between breaths, “Oh god, you’re so perfect around my cock, just like that… baby, stay just like that, and I’ll… I’ll…”

Mike grips the cushions and pushes against the sofa with his knees. It drives Harvey deeper inside him. “So good,” he moans, “Harvey, fuck, let me,” he tries to balance his weight on one hand and rub his cock in time with Harvey’s thrust. “Yes, yes!” He comes with a painful jerk, painting the back of their couch with thick white ropes of cum.

Harvey latches on to Mike’s shoulder and follows. “Jesus, Mike,” he murmurs against pale damp skin. He pulls his lover with him, collapsing behind the couch, sitting on the floor. They’re still connected. Some stickiness leaks from Mike’s ass then drips on Harvey’s balls.

“That was,” Mike pants leaning into Harvey’s embrace, “really, really good.”

Harvey chuckles, “You’re cleaning up your mess,” he says, pointing to the white artwork.

“Yeah,” Mike breathes out like a sigh, “Can we, maybe, get this checked out first?” he asks, lifting his wrist to Harvey’s view. “I think I sprained it.”

***

They go to the ER to get Mike’s injured wrist bandage.

Harvey ends up cleaning the couch himself.

***

Donna gives Harvey _the look_ when he arrives in the office, she wordlessly inquiries about the soft bandage immobilizing Mike’s wrist.

“No,” Harvey flat out refuses to answer.

She rolls her eyes and throws her hair over her shoulder. “You’ve got Jane Baker from Safe Horizons coming in after lunch.” She tells him over the intercom.

“Make sure that I have reservations for lunch somewhere nearby,” He orders her.

“Table for two?” Donna asks cheekily.

“Always and forever, Donna. That’s not going to change soon.” Harvey answers with a smirk, “Somewhere with finger foods.”

“Gotcha, boss,” She says, clicking off.

***

Mike’s first attempts to eat a burger one-handed left him with a stained suit jacket and an empty stomach. He removes it entirely, not wanting to smell like grease back at the firm.

In the end, Harvey hand-feeds Mike his burger and a couple of fries. The experience is new. They’ve never done anything so intimate in a public space before due, mostly, to their work relationship.

Mike relishes every bite, playfully licking at Harvey’s fingers every chance he gets.

They rush, hand-in-hand, laughing back to the office. Harvey’s hands smell like burger grease, having spent two times longer than they planned, but Mike couldn’t care less in the world.

***

They bump into Jane in the lobby of their building. Mike stops laughing and freezes the moment he sees her and she sees him.

She, again, immediately eyes Mike’s injury.

“Ahh! Harvey and… Mike, right?” She says in greeting. The pair nearly jumps apart having been caught in such an informal manner. Mike unconsciously hides his wrist from her view, folding his jacket over it. She gives him a _look_ which he doesn’t understand.

“Jane,” Harvey greets with a smile. “Perfect timing. Mike and I were just returning from lunch.”

“No trouble,” Jane replies with a wave. “What happened to your hand?”

Mike pales, eyes growing wide.  “I, uh…” He fidgets.

“He tripped,” Harvey cut in, rough with embarrassment. He’s ashamed for many reasons. Most of all, he knowns how uncomfortable Mike becomes about his clumsiness. “Right, Mike? You tripped and had a bad landing, didn’t you?”

“R—right,” Mike nodded shakily, “I tripped and had a bad landing…” He tries to smile. “It’s fine, really,” He attempts a small wave to show off. “It’s no big deal. Just means I can’t sign a few things for a while.”

Harvey rolls his eyes and jabs him on the side. “Means that I have to sign them all for your lazy bum.”

Jane darts her eyes between them, incredulous.

Mike becomes restless under her scrutiny. It’s a minute reaction but it sets off protective alarms in Harvey’s head. The older man steps between their client and his lover.

“Jane,” He attempts a smile, “I believe that we have an appointment? I’m sure the chairs in the office are more comfortable than standing in the lobby.”

“Sure,” she agrees.

They take the elevator the firm’s floor.

“Is there anything you need? Coffee? Tea? Water?” Harvey asks like the perfect gentleman after he led her to a chair. “I’m sure Mike can get you anything you need.” He offers, orchestrating Mike’s escape without it being too obvious.

She seems to take offense. “No,” she tells him sternly, “Mike’s _injured_. I don’t see why an abled bodied man like yourself can’t see to a cup of coffee himself. With cream and two sugars, please.”

Harvey bites back his instinctive retort and goes to fetch the coffee.

***

Mike sits there, in the conference room, like a trapped animal.

“Mike,” Jane says, reaching over the table for his free hand. “You didn’t trip and fall down, did you?” She asks in a carefully invasive tone which she uses on her patients. “You can tell me the truth. There won’t be any judgment.” At this, Mike stiffens even more.

“I…” he straightens his back, then clears his throat. “I tripped and fell down.”

“Where?” she prods, leaning closer. “Where did you trip?”

“At home,” he replies quietly, blushing so hard that he lowered his face.

“When did it happen?”

“Last night,” Mike replies.

“Oh dear,” she coos, touching his hand. “Do you need any help?”

Harvey enters the room and sees his boyfriend in a state of mild panic. His own _damn_ client is interrogating him! Rage boils inside him. He takes a few deep breaths but his resolve breaks when she touches Mike on the hand.

“Not from you, he doesn’t.” Harvey cuts in, positioning himself between them. “Your coffee,” he says, placing the paper cup on the table. “I would greatly appreciate it, Ms. Baker, if you kindly refrain from prying into our personal lives. Excuse us, I’ll take Mike up to his office.”

He cajoles Mike off the chair and leads him, by the other elbow, out of the small room.

 “She knows, Harvey, she knows!” Mike panics once they’re outside. His brain is flying a mission miles a minute in a mix of embarrassment and shame. “OMG. She knows that I got injured during---“

“Shh!” Harvey shushes him with a hand over his mouth. He gently takes Mike’s face in his hand, holding firm when the younger jerks away in surprise. “Shhh,” Harvey soothes, running a hand over Mike’s back, “It’s okay. We’re okay. She doesn’t know. She wasn’t there.”

Mike clutches onto Harvey’s hand with his uninjured wrist.

“Okay,” Mike says, after several deep breaths, “okay. Give me a kiss and I’ll go on my way?”

Harvey growls playfully and kisses him on the lips, _hard_.

***

Meanwhile, inside, Jane Baker is convinced something wicked is going on between Harvey and Mike.

She calls up her cop friends in the NYPD and puts the name ‘Mike Ross’ on their hospital watch list in case anything happens in the future.

***

Be ready, Harvey.

***

Jane doesn’t wait long.

Not a month after the cast comes off, she gets a call.

***

One time—the one time that Harvey lets Mike bike to the office instead of riding with him, disaster strikes.

“Mike!” Harvey nearly shouts when he enters the emergency room. He’s a rumpled mess, jacket gone, shirt wrinkled, waist coat unbuttoned, and tie askew. His normally slick hair was flying all over the place. He scans the room frantically for his boyfriend but sees no sign of him. “Mike!”

“Do you mean Mr. Michael Ross?” an ER nurse asked, approaching him. “Are you family?”

“No, I mean, yes,” He stammers, “I’m his boyfriend. We’re living together…” he says, rattling off their new address, “Please,” he looks at her straight in the eyes, “Where is he?”

“He’s in bed number fifteen, sir,” the nurse replies, “I’ll show you to him.”

The nurse brings Harvey near the back of the ER. It’s a small curtained space to give a semblance of privacy. Mike is lying down on his back in a medical gown with his head stabilized in some type of head brace. Harvey’s knees buckle at the sight and he collapses on the chair.

“Baby,” he whispers, too afraid to touch the blond, “I told you not to bike to work today.”

“Mr. Specter?” a voice interrupts their reunion. Harvey turns and sees a young-ish chestnut haired doctor. “I’m Catarina London, your ehrm, Mr. Ross’ doctor.”

“He’s my partner.”

“Partner then,” she blushes, “Mr. Ross is a very lucky man. He sustained very minimal injuries during the accident. His tires were snagged by a car while crossing an intersection. I’ve popped in his dislocated shoulder and some binding to immobilize his arm overnight.”

“Did they get the guy who ran him over?” Harvey asks. He needed to know if he can sock the bastard in the face. Or, at the least, face the next man that he is going to send to prison.

Sadly, she shakes her head. “It was a hit and run incident. A passerby called it in. Do you want the hospital to call the authorities so you can file a police report?”

“Yes,” Harvey agrees with a nod, “that would be appreciated.” He looks over at Mike and brushes a few stray strands of bloodied hair off his face. “Does he need to stay overnight?”

Again, she shakes her head. “You can leave as soon as Mr. Ross wakes up. He’s been sedated for the pain.”   

“Thank you, Dr. London. I’ll wait for the police as well.”

The doctor slips out of the curtains. Harvey collapses back on the uncomfortable plastic chair and waits for Mike to wake up. He takes a hold of Mike’s uninjured hand and kisses all the skin that he can reach.

“Mike, baby,” he whispers Mike’s name over and over again like a prayer, “come on, baby, wake up.”

***

Harvey wakes up the sound of his phone blaring out the acoustic version of Hotel California. It’s vibrating in his coat pocket. He groans, feeling the stiffness of his neck and the chink in his back. He vaguely recalls why he slept in such a weird position. Clearly, his body didn’t like it. His phone stops momentarily before ringing again.

“Are you going to pick that up?” Mike’s scratchy voice comes from above him. “Because your half-broken boyfriend is starting to sleep here.”

He blinks awake in delight. “Mike!” he exclaims, jumping out of the chair. It falls to the floor. “Ouch, ouch,” he grits out before he can say more. “Fuck, my back hurts like a bitch.”

Mike’s funny inelegant laughter is music to his ear. “Oww, oww, oww,” he follows in complaint, worrying over his side, “Fuck me, the drugs have stopped working. Harveeeeey,” he whines like a needy child, “I hate it here. Can we please leave? I want out bed. Our big humungous bed build for monkey sex and all your kinky---“

Harvey plants a finger over Mike’s lips. “Shhh,” he shushes, “No, Mike, the drugs haven’t worn off _completely_. There’s still some in there if you’re babbling all over the place.”

“I don’t care!” Mike grumbles with a hiccup, “I want to go home.”

“Okay, baby,” Harvey says, kissing Mike on the forehead, “Let’s get you signed out of here.”

Then, he phone rings again.

Frustrated, Harvey barks out “WHAT?!” into the receiver. It’s angry and impatient. Then, he repeats “What?” again. This time, it’s confused and fearful. “We’re Pearson _goddamn_ Hardman and you’re telling me that we can’t--- no, fine! I’ll be there in an hour.” He kicks the fallen plastic chair and curses under his breath.

“Harvey?” Mike peers up at him with big baby blue eyes. “We’re not going home, are we?”

Harvey nods mournfully. “I’m sorry, baby. We’ll go home soon. I promise. We just have to stop by the firm and get rid of one of our clients.”

“Okay,” Mike mumbles, high and a little dazed, clinging onto Harvey’s arm with his good hand.

Ray picks them up from the hospital.

***

Harvey frowns the moment that they walk onto the floor. It’s a circus in the main conference room, the once right behind the receptionist. He can see several people despite the lowered privacy blinds. He clutches onto Mike tighter, but keeps his touch gentle.

Donna’s already waiting for them. “Harvey,” she says first then startles, “OMG. Why did you drag Mike all the way here?”

“I told you,” Harvey replies with a heavy sigh, “I can’t leave him half-drugged in an empty apartment. It’s more than a battle zone since the Newman files are scattered all over the place.”

“Donna!” Mike beams with a doozy cross-eyes grin. “Do you have some Crazy Monkey? Tazy Donkeys? Banana with chocolate ice-cream?”

She makes a face. “Oh dear,” she grimaces, “I’ll take him to the office.” She slings one of Mike’s arms over her shoulder without waiting for Harvey’s response. “Go! Jessica’s ready to bite somebody’s head off in there.”

“Ms. Baker,” he barely holds the venom in his voice as he walks in, “May I ask what’s the meaning of this?”

 “Hello, Harvey,” Jane replies with equal distance, “Where’s Mike?”

Harvey bites the inside of his cheek. “Mike is… currently in disposed. Does he need to be here?”

A female trench coat wearing cop approaches him. “Mr. Specter? I’m Detective Inspector Stacy Summers.  I’d like to ask you a couple of questions.”

“Harvey,” Jessica’s voice is warning, “Don’t say a word.”

“I’m sorry,” Harvey raises his hands mockingly, “I don’t even know the complaints against me. Clearly, there’s something wrong with the protocol here. So someone tell me what the hell is happening here because I all I want to do is bring my boyfriend back from the hospital.”

“Hah!” Jane shoots up in with a shout, “So you admit that he was in the hospital?”

“I don’t deny it.” Harvey replies calmly, “Why on earth do you think I’m so pissed-off about being here?”

The detective’s ears peak-up with interest. “Why was Mr. Ross in the hospital?”

“Mike got hit-and-run.” Harvey says, sagging onto the chair. “You can confirm with my secretary for the exact time. If you ask me, I will honestly tell you that I don’t remember. I was here in the office when I got the call. All I could think about was getting to Mike.”

“What injuries did Ms. Ross sustain?”

“Some bruised ribs and a dislocated shoulder. All on the right side of his body. Minor cuts to his temple,” he points to the spot on his forehead, “about here.”

“Ms. Baker has reported seeing other afflictions on Mr. Ross during her tenure are your clients. Do you deny this?”

“No,” Harvey shakes his head, “I won’t because it’s true.” He gives them all a scornful look. “And no, before you even ask, they didn’t come from me. Believe me or not, but my boyfriend is a magnet for disaster. He keeps bumping into things even in our own condo. With the brilliant brain of his, he lacks hand-and-eye coordination. He’s---“

“Right here.” Mike suddenly cuts in, arms crossed over his chest. He’s wearing an shirt with the hospital’s logo and Harvey’s large suit jacket over his narrower frame.

“Mike!” Harvey exclaims in surprise, “What are you doing here? Where’s Donna?”

Mike shrugged with the _seriously_? look in Harvey’s direction. “Gave her the slip. I asked for some advil.”

“Mike!” Harvey chastise, “You’re already on the good drugs. Mixing them don’t won’t do you any good.”

“I know,” replies Mike, “That’s why I ditched Donna and came here.”

“Mr. Ross!” Summers calls out, “What happened to you?”

“Bike got nicked by some asshole,” Mike replies casually, still leaning on the door. Harvey stands up to support him, muttering a soft, “Let’s go sit down,” under his breath. The blond follows without hesitation.

“Fill me in?” Mike whispers, just as quietly, as they cross the small space.

“Baker seems to think that I beat you.” Harvey mumbles.

“What?!” Mike shouts, barely getting his ass on the chair before standing up again. “Harvey would never lay a finger one me! He’s not that---woah!” His knees collapse at the sudden movement. He scrambles to grab something with his good hand but fails and free falls to the ground.

“Ompf!” Harvey grunts as Mike falls on top of him. “Jesus, kid, you weight a ton.”

“Harvey!” Mike squeaks, “How did you suddenly get there? Woah, I think I’m a bit dizzy.”

“Get off me,” Harvey demands, but it more affectionate than firm. “Then I’ll get you water. No sudden movements this time, okay? My knees are already on strike.”

Mike nods obediently and lets Harvey maneuver him into a chair.

“I’ll be right back. Some of that cherry blossom tea that we like?” Harvey asks in a low voice. To which, his boyfriend merely nods. “Excuse me for a moment,” he says to the room at large, uncaring for their protests, then leaves.

“So…” Mike breaks the silence once Harvey’s out of the room. “You,” he says, pointing to Jane, “think that Harvey, my partner, my lover, my boss, beats me? And I’m what? Too afraid to say anything?”

In short, “Yes,” Jane admits. “Oh, Mike, you don’t have to be scared. It’s all right.”

“Actually,” Mike cuts her off immediately, looking at her dead-seriously, “It’s not fine. None of this is fine. Harvey Specter is one of, if not _the_ , most important thing in my life. He’s changed my life in ways that you cannot possibly comprehend. And no,” he raises a hand, “stop what you’re thinking. He is not, in any way, taking advantage of his rank or superiority in this relationship.”

“But the black eye,” Jane recounts, “and the sprained wrist. Now you’re shoulder!”

“Christ!” Mike groans, carding his hand through his hair. “Accidents!” he cries out in frustration, “Those were all accidents. I hit my head on the door. Yes, it’s stupid, crazy, idiotic. I had my nose in a case file and forgot it was there. No,” he points directly as the detective, “it’s a brand new apartment. Okay?”

“The wrist thing…” he lowers his head in embarrassment, “Oh god, the things I do for love,” he mutters to himself, face flushing, “… was because of sex. S-E-X. Intercourse. Sexual Relations. Adult Relations. Fucking.” He blabbers like a fool. “It was very energetic fully consensual animalistic sex on the sofa. Because I was too busy rubbing my dick to balance my weight properly.”

“Oh dear god, Mike,” Harvey says from door way, face stricken, “You did not just reveal our sex life to Jessica.” He complains as he re-enters the room. There’s a steaming pot of fresh tea in a fancy-looking tea set on trolley. “I might have to withhold your tea.”

“No!” Mike wails in mock-horror, “You wouldn’t deny an injured man his tea!” he says, pouting.

“You’re right” Harvey sigh in defeat, “I can’t deny you anything.” He pours the tea with a dallop of tea and hands it to Mike. “Careful, it’s freshly brewed.”

“Geez, Harvey,” Mike bemoans, “It’s just tea!” he waves his hand around and---“shit!”---hits Harvey’s wrist as he was about to pass the saucer. Fortunately for Mike, Harvey dodges his thighs at the last second and tea spills onto the carpet.

“Crap!” Mike says, folding to his knees to wipe at the mess. He ends up hitting his knee on the trolley and it rolls towards the wall. Harvey stops it with his hand, shooting a glance at their audience. “Oh shit, I’m sorry! OUCH!” he shouts when he hits his head underneath the table when he tried to stand up. “Oww”

“Seriously, kid,” Harvey groans fondly. He takes Mike by the good arm and pulls the blond to his chest. “You’ve ruined not only my suit jacket but the shirt I bought you.”  He chuckles, wiping the drops of tea from Mike’s face with his handkerchief. “Renee will have my head.”

Mike laughs. “So like you to worry about the clothes rather than me,” he teases back, “I’m hurt, Harvey, and I just got thrown into the side walk! Woe is me. I should join the Shakespeare club.”

“No,” Harvey says with a disgusted face, “One Louis is enough. No theatre for you.”

“AHEM” a loud cough bursts their imaginary bubble.

“Yes?” Mike asks, only turning his head like he can’t be bothered by their PDA inside the firm. Maybe there _are_ still _some_ good drugs in his system because otherwise he’ll be petrified bot giddy. He can’t see Harvey’s smug face behind him.

Detective Summers lowers her head. “I believe we’ve seen enough. Clearly there has been some misunderstandings.” She apologized with a bow. “I do not see any cause in continuing this case. It’s obvious that Mr. Ross is… a little uncoordinated… and the injuries reported were _not_ due to a second party… except the wrist with the couch… which was an accident.” She stammers, blushing.

“No harm,” Mike giggles at her face then turns to Harvey, “Can we go home now? I’m feeling pretty sore.”

“I don’t see why not,” Harvey replies, deliberately shooting a glance in Jane’s direction, “unless there are any other complaints about our relationship?”

“N—no,” Jane squeaks, ducking her head.

Harvey doesn’t say goodbye. He gathers as much of Mike in his arms as he could then leads an unsteady Mike to the elevators. “I cannot believe that just happened,” he contemplates while they wait. “Mike, you’ve got to be more careful! This is getting ridiculous.”

“I can’t help it,” Mike protests, “You’re too damn distracting, Harvey. Oompf!” he trips on the gap between the elevator and the floor. “See?”

“Yeah,” Harvey gives in and chuckles with him. “I wouldn’t want you any other way.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you have a prompt or an idea, you can [INSPIRE ME](http://arh581958.tumblr.com/submit) on tumblr.


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